Pumpkintopia

The Retail Conspiracy to Force Pumpkin Upon the Masses

Trader Joe’s: Grab a cart

wheel around the storied mart

An ordinary day it seems -- 

fifty days from Halloween 

Warm enough to break a sweat
         It isn’t fall… Nope, not yet
Matters not when one discerns
         passels of pumpkins at every turn

Pumpkin oatmeal, cookies, bars

Pumpkin pretzels, purée in jars

Pumpkin O’s (with apostrophe!)

         for breakfast with your pumpkin tea 

Pumpkin pasta, pumpkin sauce

(No pumpkin toothpaste?! No pumpkin floss?!)

There’s pumpkin soap and pumpkin scrub,

pumpkin lotion for after the tub

 

Pumpkin muffins, pumpkin bread

Midnight nosh ahead of bed

Pumpkin butter, pumpkin beer

Pumpkin cream cheese, just a schmear

 

Pumpkin heaven? Pumpkin hell?

So much super squash to sell

Pumpkin sizes, pumpkin hues

Orange, green, white pumpkin views   

 

Escape with paltry pumpkin box

            lest we catch the pumpkin pox

Baking mix for chilly day,

            leaves of gold, clouds of grey

 

Bye Joe, gotta hit the scene

Baristas blending java beans

Frothy lattes, pumpkin spice,

keen, addictive pumpkin vice

 

Espresso dealers inked with tats,

top themselves with pumpkin hats

Pushing samples, pumpkin chai,

another fix, a pumpkin high

 

Mr. Starbuck? Two-Buck Chuck?

Harvesting the pumpkin luck 

Pick ‘em from the pumpkin patch

Brilliant retail scheme to hatch

 

Love it? Loathe it? Think you’ve scored?

Driven outta decorative gourd! 

Pumpkin whatever rhyme or reason

Bide the time ‘til peppermint season.